Those people

So I really should be writing my paper, but I feel like writing this instead. I have to write that paper for sure today. I was supposed to have written this paper LAST Sunday, seeing as how it was due LAST Monday. That's my main worry in life right now - school. I dropped English, there was no way I could have passed that class. I'm not worried about any of my Comm classes. I'm a little worried about History though. It's alright. It will be fine. I suppose so. I took the exam this morning and I think I did well so the only thing that will really bring me down is this paper being so late. But all is well, I will be able to survive.

My weekend was amazing, much better than I thought it would be. I saw RENT on Friday. It was really good. Then I came home and I thought my plans for the rest of the weekend were ruined until Saturday afternoon. My purpose of this blog, relates to that, but I will discuss that after I finish informing the world of my weekend. So then I met up with Casi and we went to NINETEEN places last night. No exaggeration. Casi got her tattoo. It's beautiful. Then we went to Le Petite to tell Jody, Blythe, and Kaleb hello. I'm soooo glad I saw Kaleb. I miss him so much, much more than I ever thought I would. I love that boy. Then we eventually found our way to Howlin Wolf and then we went back to Le Petite after with Matt and Rachel. I'm glad I saw them too. They're always fun. Matt had to bring Rachel home and then it was just me, Casi, Jody, Blythe, and Kaleb. We met up with Kevin (Kaleb's amazing brother) at The Pub on Bourbon. Oh my God. We are some drunk bitches. That is all that needs to be said about that. I had soooo much fun. Who came up with the idea of going to Bourbon? DANDAN that's who. What a good decision!


So my weekend was amazing. And it almost wasn't because I almost let something insignificantly stupid get in the way. Something that, in the end, doesn't matter. Something that shouldn't even bother me. Something really pointless and not worth letting my weekend be ruined. And so begins the message of this blog...


This has been something that has become increasingly hard for me to take my own advice on. There will always be that person, that something, that obstacle, that situation that will get in the way of making yourself happy. There will always be that something. While I was thinking that this something was going to ruin my weekend, I was talking to one of my friends. It made me reconsider things when he said "Why are you going to let that get in the way of things you would normally do?" He was right. And all I could think about after that was "There is more to life than that something." There really is. It's hard to let go of something or someone you care about or once did. It's very hard. But in the end, if that something won't be there, there's nothing you can do but move on.

That's been so hard for me lately. Over the past month and a half, practically all of my friendships have changed. Some for the better, some for the worse, some for both. Figuring out who to let go of has been such a challenge. There was someone I wanted to see this weekend when I was in town. And I wanted to see them pretty badly...but I didn't. And as much as I wanted to see them all weekend, when I woke up in Casi's dorm on Sunday morning and thought about how great my weekend was...I really didn't mind that I didn't get to see that person. I really didn't mind much at all. There's more to life than that person. There will always be more to life than that person. You will undoubtedly have that person that will always be a part of you, that has made you who you are, that you can't let go of. We all have that person. But honestly, we were surviving before those people came along. Maybe we weren't surviving as well as we were when they were here, but we were surviving.

And it's so frustrating, probably more frustrating than it should be. But it happens. Shit happens. Life happens. People will be there when you cry. People will be the reason you are crying. It doesn't always end well but if we spend all of our time focusing on what our lives used to be, then we can't spend time on figuring out how much better our lives could be without the drama. YOU. You can't let go of that person. And as much as everyone (even you) sees that this person is slowly but surely causing you to lose your sanity, you still hold on. There is more to life than that person. There is more to life than hoping for them to love you as much as you love them. There is more to life than being let down and knowing that the same thing will happen and not stopping it. There is more to life than that person. I just wanted to tell YOU that YOU are better than wasting your time thinking about your person all the time.

ME. There will always be those people in my life. The people who are assholes, who constantly remind you of how much they hate you for something you didn't even do, who want to see you hurt, who don't care about you even though they once did, who feel the need to keep letting you know that they don't need you despite the fact that's it is completely unnecessary - those people. The people who you don't know if you can have, who used to be your best friends, who you used to tell everything to, who you can barely talk to now, who make you cry just by thinking about them, who change your world on a daily basis, who you want things to be okay with but you know they most likely won't be - those people. There is more to life than those people. Hard as it may be to let go, sometimes you just have to say "fuck it. whatever happens, happens." That's all that you can do is focus on what's here and now and where you're going. And know that there is more to life than those people. There is always more to life than those people.

xoxo DannDann