I present to you a series of emotions. Each "post" is about multiple people, not just one person. I don't say where I switch from person to person. It doesn't really matter. This is more for me than for you all. Ha.

Angry post:

Let me vent for 2.5 seconds. I really am fucking tired of all your bullshit. I'm done. I'm always fucking here for you and you are never there. Get your fucking priorities straight. You can't bitch bitch bitch about them and say how much you miss them. It doesn't fucking work like that. Care about something and stick to it. Figure out who you are and stop lying to everyone about fucking everything you do. It is NOT OKAY. Oh, and don't fucking judge me because I went out with them one night. Now you completely stop talking to me? Shut the fuck up. You've done sooo much worse than I have and I don't care, so why the fuck should you be mad at me for hanging out with people I like? Get over yourself.

Happy post:

Simple joys. I love how close I am to you. You make me so happy. For a while I never thought anyone would ever be able to get to me anymore. That was fucking rough. But I love that I have found you and that you are honestly one of my favorite people in the whole fucking world. I hope this is long term. I like that I had that phone call. Just when I doubt you, you prove me wrong. If I think we're not okay, you find some way to unknowingly reassure me that all is well. Even though things aren't how they used to be, it's better than nothing. I like it. I love that I can talk to you. You're pretty much the only one I have here who knows about my life, who gets me. I love our conversations outside at fucking 2 in the morning. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Sad post:

I want you to be okay. I wish for two things at 11:11. One of them is about you. I realized the other day that you being happy is one of the things that will make me the most happy. I hate that I don't get to see you that much, especially since we are so close. I feel like I always bitch to you and I wish I could be a better friend to you. I never know if you're real or not, both of you. It upsets me because I want to trust you but I wish that you wouldn't be so defensive and I wish that you wouldn't be so general. I want to figure you out and it's just very frustrating to hear you say you trust me, yet you don't show it. I want to believe you but a lot of the times I don't.

My post:

I don't know what is going on with myself. I know what's going on with everyone else though. I've been thinking a lot these past three weeks about how much I do not want to do school right now. I want to do college, but I don't want to do school. I really wish that class was just learning and discussing. No papers. No exams. No homework. I realize that this is completely unrealistic, but I would just enjoy it so much more. I've never really not liked school. I know it sounds stupid, but I've always loved school and just hated the work. But, now, I don't like school. I don't know if college is for me and it really surprises me that I think that. Like, I know I need to go to college, but I just fear that it won't help me. I could do sooo many things with my life. I'm smart and I'm really good with people. I wonder if I'm picking the right thing. I know I have awesome potential to be super successful, but I'm just afraid that I won't live up to my potential. I'm worried that I will fail. I'm worried that I spend too much time worrying about stupid things and just too much time worrying in general.

I just want to be at that point right now, the point I expect myself to be at in ten years. And I know I have to work up to that point, I have to start small so I can end up big. I just don't want to wait. I know I will have to wait, like everyone else. But I just don't know what to think. I really like being here and being on my own. And I'm not just talking about going out and partying and blah blah blah. I really like having my own little place and having new friends and having a different start with them. I like that I barely have any drama with the people here and the drama that I do have here doesn't coincide with the other friendships I have here.

I want to let go. I want to not worry. I want to drop all the drama. I want to sing. I want to just sit here and have not a care in the world. I want something better and I know I will get it, I'm just tired of waiting. I've been waiting all my life for something better. Better education, better opportunities, better jobs, better people, better me, better everything. I'm not saying that these things aren't good right now, but I just want something different. Something new. Something that I love, that I can be passionate about, that I want to do. I want to breathe. I want to spread my wings. I want to fly.

xoxo DannDann