So many ups and so many downs through this past month have given me a lot to think about. This break was much more than I expected it to be (both good and bad). I came home being mad at some people and completely content with others, and now everything is all mixed up again.
Things that were unexpected this break that I am greatful for:
1. a new camera
2. getting closer to Bryce
3. talking to Hannah more than I have EVER
4. CoreWhores
5. getting closer to my sister
Things that were unexpected this break that I am aggravated with:
1. my mother [not so unexpected]
2. New Years Eve Eve and New Years Eve
3. not seeing Kaylen
4. Bryce's last night getting fucked up [even though we made it good in the end]
5. car accidents
A lot of drama has gone down in the past month. I don't want to deal with it. It really is too much. It's not something I have to deal with it. I know I put myself in the position to get invovled because I care too much about everything and everyone, however there is a line, and that line has undoubtedly been crossed. People fuck up. I fuck up. You fuck up. We all scream for ice cream. But sometimes there is no reason, no explanation, and any "sorry" that is said is usually not meant. Or it is meant, but it is not meant as in "Sorry I did it" because it's usually more of a "Sorry you got aggravated". Big difference. I know I have written about tolerating everyone's shit before, but I really just don't want to do it anymore. It has just gotten to be too much.
I have met a few new people over break. But more importantly, my relationships with the majority of my friends have changed within these four short weeks. Most of these changes I am pleasantly happy with. I am closer to Hannah than I have ever been and I love that. So much more than I could adequately explain. I became closer with Bryce than I thought I would [as I mentioned earlier]. I'm not saying we are best friends or anything, but I love how much fun I have with him. We get along very well and I love that he and I are friends. The Ronald and Kimberly relationship grows stronger everyday which I am never surprised with, but still love nonetheless. Two groups don't really exist anymore and I'm not sure how I feel about that yet. But one was formed and one remains in excellent condition. I couldn't be happier with both of those groups. I haven't talked to Blythe in a while which really does make me sad. I miss her a lot. I really love how much me and Casi have talked over this break. We used to talk a lot and over the summer and a few months after we barely talked because we were so busy and now I love that this break has brought us closer again. That's all I think I want to say about my relationships and how they have changed.
I'm excited to go back to Hammond and escape the claws of my overbearing mother. I'm getting a new roommate because Kaylen got kicked out of dorms and I'm really worried I'm going to get a roommate that I will hate. Absolutely hate. I'm not sure though. I'm trying to be open minded. Oh well. Also, I found out I lost my scholarship for the Spring semester. I don't know how I can get it back but I'm going to try. I also need a job to pay off two car accidents and five months of cell phone bills. We shall see how this goes. This semester will be one hell of a ride. So I guess I better get my helmet ready and buckle up...
xoxo DannDann
100 Posts
14 years ago
