Building Bridges

Darra - "I hooked up with a boy."
Me - "Shut. The. Fuck. Up."
Darra - "We are NOT talking about this!!!"
Me - "DARRA! YOU'RE A LESBIAN!"
Darra - "I KNOW!!!"

Hahahahaha. I love it here. I really do. I'm coming home this weekend to see Miss Saigon. I'm excited. I'm expecting it to be grand. And I'm spending Saturday with Casi!!! Yay!!! I don't know what I'm doing Friday night though, hopefully hanging out with some Loyola kids. I'm down for whatever though. Not like I'm trying to make a plan through a blog. How silly. HA!

I'm very proud of myself. Extremely. Building bridges, you know? I refuse to be bitter about things. Like Jody said in the very beginning, shit happens. And it does. Things are good and then they're bad and shit happens. Whether it starts back up again or whether it just ends badly, shit happens. I want to believe that one day sometime soon I can look back on memories with those people and say, "Remember that time that we..." and laugh about it. Not saying we have to be best friends, or even friends anymore, but what I had with certain people was really really great and if they don't want it anymore, I can't make them. I'm not bitter though, not anymore. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. Hopefully everything can be civil with those who have ended friendships with me recently. It was good while it lasted, it really was, and for that I am grateful. I have a lot of good memories with them and that's what I choose to focus on. Yay for me. I am very proud of myself for my outlook.

I like the way my life is going now. This weekend was very lazy. I was in my dorm all weekend in my PJ pants and my stolen Brother Martin sweatshirt. It is my most comfortable (I wanted to say comfiest, but it just looks weird) combination. Secret - I love wearing that sweatshirt because everytime I wear it I think of Godspell (since I stole it during Godspell along with everyone else. Hahahaha!) and I remember that it was the time I was the happiest with my life. I think that's why that sweatshirt is so comfortable. :] Anyway, I sat in the rain for nearly two hours on Saturday. Not played in, sat in. I was so cold but I had some thinking to do and it really helped me. I called Jody Saturday and it was the first time I had talked to him in a while. It made me happy though. I miss him. Oh! I miss Blythie soooooo much! I hope I can see both of them next weekend when I see Casi. Hope hope hope! Jody I know you will read this, but I planned on telling you anyway. Haha. You are mentioned a couple of times in this blog now that I think about it. Silly JoJo.

Last night I went to the wine party for Kelly's birthday. It was so much fun. I met this girl Michelle. She's hilarious. I've never laughed so much with someone who I had just met. I'm glad I know her now. She has the best speaking voice I have ever heard, similar to Michael Lynn but it sounds like she has a sinus infection. Haha. Love it. It makes me smile. Then I had a really deep conversation with Dana on the 3rd floor balcony for like an hour and a half. Then an ambulance pulled up to the building next to our dorm so we sped downstairs and went outside to meet up with our friends who were already there. We went by the room that the strecther went to and there was like a trail of blood outside of these two doors. SKETCHYYYY! It was a killer time though. Then me, Cassie, and Darra went back to Darra's room and I helped Darra with her paper and we had another deep conversation for like an hour. It was perfect. I'm pretty sure my 11:11 wish came true.

It makes me happy that I'm happy, that I'm okay, that I'm me. I like it that way. I really can't find words at the moment to adequately express how happy it makes me that I'm doing okay. I'm a lot better. Everything seems clearer, like it will work out. These past two weeks have been really rough but I know I'm making it out alive. It makes me happy. I'm glad I can say that now. Love me or hate me...I'm happy. :]

xoxo DannDann