Make The Effort

I want to write but I'm not sure about what. I'm about to help Dana with her paper so I figure I might as well start typing now and get the words to start coming to my brain. Hmmm. You know what I love? My friends here, they call me an Encyclopedia. I am. I always know everything about everyone and every situation and any known question. I love that. I love being asked things and being able to answer them whether it be how many days are in a month or even what a hotdog is made of. I love using words that aren't common. I wrote about this breifly before when I talked about how I like to use adjectives other than "good." I really do enjoy being that person though.

I have a feeling that a couple of people are mad at me and I'm not quite sure why. Lie. I know why one of them would be mad at me. I have no idea why one of them would be mad at me. And I don't give a fuck if the third person is mad at me. It just confuses me. I hate being on bad terms with people, especially when I try to make things better. Last night was fun. We played daquiri pong. We lost. It was fun. Kaylen was "drunk." I don't know how. She didn't even have that much. I drove her car to Taco Bell. Hahaha. THAT was an adventure. Then I got back to my dorm and just got really upset. I was thinking about how [I think] some people are mad at me. I just really don't feel like dealing with this nonsense anymore, to tell you the truth. I will fight with people till the day I die, but I always make sure to make an effort to resolve things (even when I shouldn't be the person taking the first step). I hate when I go to make the effort and the other person doesn't even try to talk to me about it. What good is running away?

Dana's writing notes on the short story she's reading and she wrote "gpaw bert." Me and Jen got a good laugh out of that. I really love that I've been hanging out with them a lot. I always feel like they want me there. I know this sounds really fucking stupid, but I always feel like I have to invite myself places and I always have to make the effort. It's extremely reassuring to know that I don't have to make the effort for them. I wish more people were like that. I know three people who are like that other than Dana and Jen. No, but really, I wish you all knew them. They're great. They make me so happy.

I don't know what the fuck is going on with Darra lately. I like that I write about people that nobody [who reads this] knows. I like having a part of the world to myself. I love having them know a different side of me...not in a bipolar way. Wow. That was silly! I really do love being in Hammond. I wouldn't come home as much as I do if I didn't have obligations. There's always a show or a plan or something. I don't know, maybe I'm just making excuses for myself. It's completely...ridiculous. I like it. I've discovered a lot about myself since I've been here. Not only about myself, but also about how I feel about everyone back home. My time here really has put everything into perspective. I like it. I don't necessarily like the thoughts that I have, but I like that I can think about things and not be surrounded by them while I'm thinking about them.

Fuck, I'm tired. And I still have to write Dana's paper (which will be easy, so I don't know what I have such a negative connotation with that), and I have to finish I project (which will take me ten minutes), and then we are going to watch Dark Knight (HOPEFULLY) outside tonight on the big screen. I hope tonight will be grand. I hope, I hope, I hope.

Make the effort.

xoxo DannDann