Weenies

Well hello blogging world! It has been a while. For this, I am grandly sorry. Not that your world stopped turning or that Hitler raised from the dead, all is fine. I'm sitting in Ashley's dorm, typing away. This past week hasn't been too eventful, believe it or not (and I strongly suggest that you should, in fact, believe it). Oh my. Story time. So the other night Ashley and I went to a playground. It was dark. And we were just sitting there swinging and smoking and we made up a rap. May I just tell you, it is genius. Remind me to sing it for you all one day. Anyway, so the cops show up out of nowhere and is like "THE PARK IS CLOSED." So then we got kicked out of the park. It was silly. That doesn't sound like it's a good story, but it really is, I promise.

I'm excited for this weekend. I'm glad that Alex is confused shitless. It makes me smile more than he will ever know. I'm just ready to see everybody, well mostly everybody. I can't wait to see Beauty. I'm so excited. I'm so proud of my boys. Awww. *insert happy tears here*

Last night was pretty bad. Lots and lots of crying. I'm dealing with too many things. I am extremely grateful for Hannah, Kaleb, and Alex. They are my life. OH MY GOD! I have been obsessed with the song "Belle" from Beauty and the Beast. (Oh my fuck, Ashley was saying library and so I typed Beauty and the Library. It ws funny.) Oh my. My life should be a movie. I promise. Ashley is completely murdering this song. And I do not approve of it at all. *makes evil look*

But yeah, I miss you fucking crazy weenies. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Well I hope to see you all soon and I promise to blog about something with substance next time :]]

xoxo DannDann

When you told me I couldn't sing, when you told me it was my fault, when you said you loved me, when you asked for advice, when you had a problem, when you wanted to complain, when you understand Physics, when you hooked up with someone, when you let your hair down, when you said you didn't know, when you yelled at me, when you told me a secret, when you told me you would try, when you gave up, when you asked for an explanation, when you were upset, when you started smoking, when you didn't know if you liked him, when you told me you were unsure, when you wanted to change your major, when you hated your job, when you got too drunk, when you gave me directions, when you asked me to come over, when you were having a bad day, when you met the boy of your dreams, when you couldn't believe you thought that, when you defended yourself, when you fucked up, when you were mad at her, when you didn't want to deal with the drama, when you wanted a change, when you said you hated me, when you said you needed time, when you said you didn't know what you needed, when you turned it around on me, when you blamed me and it wasn't my fault, when you needed a friend, when you made good tips, when you talked about your coworker, when you wanted to get in control of your life, when you wanted me there - I listened.

I listened.
Why can't you?

xoxo DannDann

Princes

I'm sitting here with Hannah at her work. I like it. It's so silly. And she's working and I'm sitting her not doing anything and I'm enjoying myself. There are very few people who I can sit with and do literally nothing with and be completely content with the relationship I have with them.

I hate that I don't know what to think about/ know how to act around people that I am "so close" to. There are a few people who I have stopped caring about as much as I can and there are others that I can't quite figure out anymore. Something happened today that was kind of a slap in the face to me. You [the person] don't know it was though. My opinion has become less apparent. I have made it that way. I only tell my opinion to three people. I feel as if they are the only people that really listen anymore. Anymore...hhmmm what a word.

We all make mistakes. Fuck, I make mistakes. But sometimes when the drawbridge is lowered, it looks a lot longer than it did before. And it makes you wonder if the walk across it is worth it or not. It makes you wonder when it got so difficult to cross a bridge. It makes you wonder why you're crossing it and if you even really want to. It makes you wonder why you crossed it in the first place just to be thrown into the mote and have to swim to the other side and if you really want to cross it again. It makes you wonder if when you cross the bridge all you will hear about is how much they want something for the wrong reasons. It makes you question how much that walk meant to you, and if to them you will be another visitor, or another let down when all they wanted was that prince.

Wow. That last sentence. Have these feelings really resurfaced with both things? All this time apart from these people really has given me a million things to think about. I didn't know I still felt that way...well, I guess we all learn new things everyday...right?

xoxo DannDann

Bitch, don't make me come back there and skulldrag you!

There are so many things I want to write about. I'm just buzzing with thoughts. This semester is going to be considerably more boring than the first one was. I don't have any friends left in this hall except Kerra and Nicole and we don't really talk anyway. I don't like my roommate that much. She's not very social with me. Her friends come over and are very loud. I know that I have no room to talk since I am really loud, but there is a difference between being loud and being obnoxiously and annoyingly disruptive. I don't really like it. Oh well.

I've been getting so close to Ashley. It makes me really happy. I have a huge feeling that her and I will become best friends this semester. We went to dinner at McDonalds (classy) last night and almost got shot. There was a fight. We were the only two white people there. This girl was cursing out the girl who was working the fries. My favorite part was, "Bitch, don't make me come back there and skulldrag you!" Too much to handle. Hahaha. And then we chilled and watched American Idol. Then we got dinner tonight and watched American Idol again. Then tomorrow night we're going out to the Buzz and then I'm spending the weekend at her house and we're going to Bourbon on Friday. I'm very excited. She has hott straight guy friends. I'm very very excited.

School is going to be really tough this semester. I have to actually try and work and study. I know it's lame for me to complain about something everyone has to do, but still, I have to work really hard. I have to make a 3.7 to keep my scholarship. And I'm taking hard classes, but at least I really like my teachers. It's a whole lot of walking, too. My feet hurt a lot today when I got back home. I'm very tired as well. I like that I have Tuesday and Thursday off so I can catch up on sleep. ADD moment - I love John Legend. His video just came on tv and I love his song "Ordinary People." Look it up. Woaaaaaaaah.

About how that song just put everything into perspective. Shit. What an unexpected ending to this blog. I've got a lot of thinking to do.

xoxo DannDann

I found my silver lining.

xoxo DannDann

What an experience...

So many ups and so many downs through this past month have given me a lot to think about. This break was much more than I expected it to be (both good and bad). I came home being mad at some people and completely content with others, and now everything is all mixed up again.

Things that were unexpected this break that I am greatful for:
1. a new camera
2. getting closer to Bryce
3. talking to Hannah more than I have EVER
4. CoreWhores
5. getting closer to my sister

Things that were unexpected this break that I am aggravated with:
1. my mother [not so unexpected]
2. New Years Eve Eve and New Years Eve
3. not seeing Kaylen
4. Bryce's last night getting fucked up [even though we made it good in the end]
5. car accidents

A lot of drama has gone down in the past month. I don't want to deal with it. It really is too much. It's not something I have to deal with it. I know I put myself in the position to get invovled because I care too much about everything and everyone, however there is a line, and that line has undoubtedly been crossed. People fuck up. I fuck up. You fuck up. We all scream for ice cream. But sometimes there is no reason, no explanation, and any "sorry" that is said is usually not meant. Or it is meant, but it is not meant as in "Sorry I did it" because it's usually more of a "Sorry you got aggravated". Big difference. I know I have written about tolerating everyone's shit before, but I really just don't want to do it anymore. It has just gotten to be too much.

I have met a few new people over break. But more importantly, my relationships with the majority of my friends have changed within these four short weeks. Most of these changes I am pleasantly happy with. I am closer to Hannah than I have ever been and I love that. So much more than I could adequately explain. I became closer with Bryce than I thought I would [as I mentioned earlier]. I'm not saying we are best friends or anything, but I love how much fun I have with him. We get along very well and I love that he and I are friends. The Ronald and Kimberly relationship grows stronger everyday which I am never surprised with, but still love nonetheless. Two groups don't really exist anymore and I'm not sure how I feel about that yet. But one was formed and one remains in excellent condition. I couldn't be happier with both of those groups. I haven't talked to Blythe in a while which really does make me sad. I miss her a lot. I really love how much me and Casi have talked over this break. We used to talk a lot and over the summer and a few months after we barely talked because we were so busy and now I love that this break has brought us closer again. That's all I think I want to say about my relationships and how they have changed.

I'm excited to go back to Hammond and escape the claws of my overbearing mother. I'm getting a new roommate because Kaylen got kicked out of dorms and I'm really worried I'm going to get a roommate that I will hate. Absolutely hate. I'm not sure though. I'm trying to be open minded. Oh well. Also, I found out I lost my scholarship for the Spring semester. I don't know how I can get it back but I'm going to try. I also need a job to pay off two car accidents and five months of cell phone bills. We shall see how this goes. This semester will be one hell of a ride. So I guess I better get my helmet ready and buckle up...

xoxo DannDann

Urban dictionary. loveit

1) Your name?
Dani - A person with lots of layers of goodness, like an onion without the crying and the smell.
"That girls a real dani."

2) Your age?
Eighteen - The day your life officially ends. [hahahahah!]

3) One of your friends?
Kaleb - Derived from the word God. Also a phrase for the hottest person alive to ever step foot on earth and any other planets he has been on. Mars, Jupiter, Urnaus, and Saturn. Common name for a black man that has mass skills. When girls talk about who is hot and they dont want some boy to here they will substitute their name with Kaleb.

5) Favorite 3 colors?
Pink - slang reference to the vagina.
Teal - A Green-like hue. Mix between Light blue and green. Designed specifically as die for automotive paint used on Chevrolet Cavaliers from 1988-1996. Also a popular tint for material used in the manufacturing of fanny-packs. Later popularized by the Philadelphia Eagles, whose primary fanbase consists of Cavelier driving fanny-pack wearers.
Silver - It's all good; everything is all good.

6) Birthplace?
New Orleans - One of the best fucking cities in the usa.A great place to party.Also known as home of Mardi Gras and Jazz.If you have anything bad to say about the N.O then fuck off.

7) Month of your birth?
June - The month the hottest people in the world are born

8) Last person you talked to?
Cameron - (n.) A man-whore, whose only interest in girls is that they "be at least SOMEWHAT pretty." & have tits. (adj.) To describe a small penis. [bahahahhahahaha!]

9)Favorite Animal?
Zebra - TWENTY-FIVE sizes larger than a A bra

10) One of your nicknames?
DanDan - very clumsy, can easily lose her stuff(even if it is very large objects), cannot hear what people say, likes to dance in her room randomly, like to say "ur face" insults. [mreh.]

Phahaha. Just wanted to have some funnnn.

xoxo DannDann

It's A Waiting Game, Really.

First things first - Happy birthday Matther.

Moving on...there has been far too much drama to start the year with. I really am just sick of it all. I had a really big talk with Casi last night about it. It's just extremely frustrating to see how so many people can be so selfish all at the same time. I don't know what I'm going to do, honestly. I've never been so confused with my thoughts on this situation. This has always been a situation, just never so serious. I just wish people would grow up. I guess that's all I have to say about that anymore without getting into everything.

So I told my parents about the car. For those of you who don't know this happened about 2 1/2 weeks ago, when I got in the accident. It wasn't that bad at all. It could have been much much worse. As of right now, I can't drive. Duh. And I don't have my phone. I don't know when I'm getting my phone back. My mom told me today that I can't go anywhere until I clean and I'm hoping that's all I have to do to be able to go places. I won't be able to drive for a very long time. And I think I'm okay with that. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I am. I just want to be able to see Anything Goes this weekend and go to Bryce's Scavenger Hunt. I haven't seen anyone (other than an unplanned visit to EJ Land) since Bryce's house on New Years Day. Oh my. I just hope everything works out.

I'm completely ready to go back to Hammond. As much as I write about how I love my New Orleans friends and I miss them and I want to hang out with them before I leave, I just really want to leave. I want to go back to Hammond. I like it there a lot. Even though one of my closest friends won't be at school anymore, I know I will still be happy there. I want to get back in school mode, with a schedule, knowing that I can see whoever I want whenever I want. 8 more days and I'm there. I'm thrilled!

I guess I should clean today, or tomorrow I guess, while the parents are at work. I finally hooked up the tv in my room and put away all my shit from school...which was probably dumb since I have to repack everything in a week. But hey, if it means enjoying this last week more, then I'm for it. I've been terribly bored lately. All I've done is play the Sims and watch movies. This is probably due to the fact that I've been under some form of house arrest, but still, I get lonely. I want someone to call me or visit me or whatever. Just because I don't have my phone, doesn't mean I want you to forget about me. :[

xoxo DannDann

Happy New Year, right?

I need to stop giving people so many chances. That's bold. That's true. I let everyone else drive the metaphorical car that belongs to my life and I always sit in the passenger seat. I let them control the music, the air, the lights, the windshield wipers, everything. I need to drive it myself and only let people ride with me when I want to. As much as I love having those "passengers" - those passengers either end up being backseat drivers or passenger seat drivers...and I let them be. Maybe I just need to get in that car and drive around by myself...just drive to nowhere. No, drive to a boat launch, but one really far away.



Maybe I need to not drive for a while. Maybe I should just stay where I am every once in a while. As much as I love that drive and those passengers, I need to know how to be happy when I'm not driving. I always need to be driving that car. I always need to be in that car. I always need to be with those passengers. I forgot how to live my life with no passengers, no ride, no car.



That's one of my New Year's resoultions - forget about the car. Forget about the accomodations. And remember how to be happy without them.



xoxo DannDann