Revolution

I'm ready to make a difference. I want to show you something you will never forget. I want to be that memory that you will always have, that person you will always remember. I want to die knowing that something was different because I was involved. I want to change things and make them better. I want to paint the town red. I want to pretty the world. I don't know what my action will be, what my change will be, what effect I will have on people, how people will remember me - I don't know, but I know I want to have one. I want to be the reason something changes. I want to make people think. I want to make a statement. I want to lead a movement. I want to be in charge. I want to start a revolution.

Dream big, Dani.

And that's exactly what I plan to do.

xoxo DannDann

Mewwi Cweezmaaaz Beeches

Waaaalaalaalaalaaaaaaah! It's Christmas!

Waaaalaalaalaalaaaaaaah! I GOT A CAMERA!

:D

Tick tick tick

It goes on. It all goes on whether you're there or not. Seconds still fly. Money is still exchanged. People still have fun. It all goes on.

Everyone is just a second in a minute, a second in an hour, a second in a day, a second in a week, a second in a month, a second in year. Everyone is a second. No wonder fish feel so small...there are so many of them. How does each second know it's relevant? If that second weren't there, there's another one before it and another after it. Time keeps going with an endless amount of seconds. An endless amount of ticks.

Every question is not answered. There is another question before it, another after. Do they all matter? Do all the seconds matter? Who sits and watches the time go by, who notices the difference in each minute, who wishes time stood still, who lets it fly by? That second that just passed and that one and that one and that one, did you notice it, did you appreciate it?

Time is always there, always in front of you, but no one sits there and appreciates all that makes it up. Even the man who puts together a watch, after a while it's just putting wheels together and making sure the hands tick perfectly, but not the appreciation of the seconds individually. Not the seconds on the watch, not the seconds on the clock, not the seconds of that man's life - they all become insignificant. They all become time. And time always goes on.

He got that phone call.

I didn't.

xoxo DannDann

Clarity

Disappointment (n.) - The act of disappointing, or the state of being disappointed; defeat or failure of expectation or hope; miscarriage of design or plan; frustration.

Effort (n.) - earnest and conscientious activity intended to do or accomplish something; use of physical or mental energy; hard work; notable achievement; a series of actions advancing a principle or tending toward a particular end

"Effort is only effort when it begins to hurt." [Ortega y Gasset, 1949]

Fix (v.) - restore by replacing a part or putting together what is torn or broken; make fixed, stable or stationary; make ready or suitable or equip in advance for a particular purpose.

Problem (n.) - any question or matter involving doubt, uncertainty, or difficulty; a question to be considered, solved, or answered; a situation, matter, or person that presents perplexity or difficulty; a misgiving, objection, or complaint.

Responsible (adj.) - answerable or accountable, as for something within one's power, control, or management; involving accountability or responsibility; chargeable with being the author, cause, or occasion of something; having a capacity for moral decisions and therefore accountable; capable of rational thought or action; reliable or dependable


Make an effort to take responsibility and fix the problem that dissapointed me.

xoxo DannDann

Buckle up

I'm ready for this break. It will determine a lot of things. It's a "make or break" for a lot of people, that's how I see it. Some things are already showing. Lots of things are being made and lots of things are being broken. And it's only begun.

I'm very eager to move on without the distractions of school for a little bit. I'm ready to find out what is important to me again. I had no idea that so many ridiculously big and important changes had happened in the past four months. Bottom line is that we all move on, whether or not it's with each other. Whether or not I have been there or you have been there or all of us have been there, we have all moved on. It's up to each and every one of us who stays close to who. We can control our relationships, we just have to make sure that we actually will control them since we can.

I have realized lately how often I make excuses. I have realized even more how much other people make excuses. I usually, for the most part, can justify my actions. I know that I cannot say the same for the majority of the people I am friends with. I hope people start taking responsibility and realize that they won't be the only people affected by their choices and actions.

So I don't know what this next month will mean for all of you, but I'm pretty sure it's going to mean something to a lot of people, whether or not that something is the same thing as mine or yours. These next few weeks will tell us a lot about each other. It's up to you as to what it tells us about you.

xoxo DannDann

Pool of Wine

Things aren't as bad as my last post makes them out to be. After I got off the phone with Cameron, I just started crying. Shocker, I know. He told me things I didn't want to hear, but things I needed to hear. He knows how to word things perfectly when he talks to me. He gets me. Three days till he comes home. Three days.

I took my History final this morning at 8. I went to sleep at 2 and woke up at 5 to study. I think I did fairly alright actually. All I have left to do is the book reviews. I need to do those. At least the second one. My grade sucks in that class. The three grades I have are 80, 70, and 56. I hope my final brings it up a little. Fuck. I have a D in that class. I really hope the final helps.

I only have two more exams left, which I'm glad about. Goddamn, last night was bad. I talked to Alex on the phone for like an hour and just vented to him. He owes me a massage. He owes me several. I can't wait. This girl sitting next to me is having major troubles printing all her five thousand documents she needs to print in the library and this lady is helping her and the lady's voice is very annoying. Ever hear someone talking right next to you and their voice just makes you want to punch them in the face? That's happening...RIGHT NOW.

Anyway...I feel better now that I've taken the exam. I'm very dramatic. Laugh. Go ahead. I'll join you, I assume. I read a comment on a picture this morning that made me smile for the first time in hours. Fuck, it made me laugh. Really loudly. In the library. Good job, Dani. I know. I'm trying to kill half an hour before I go to the cafeteria really fucking early for lunch. I didn't feel like going back to my dorm. So I will go eat and then go to my room and pass the fuck out. I know my posts lately have either been really boring or really depressing. They will be happier after exams are over, I assure you. Oh my. Trials and tribulations, Dani, trials and tribulations.

xoxo DannDann

6 Feet From the Edge

I need a break. A real break. Not a ten minute break from the 20 pages of reading I've done in the past hour and a half. Not a home for the weekend break. A real break. I want to just go home and shut myself out from everything. And if you know the least bit about me, you know that I thrive off of other people and I would certainly die if I closed myself off like that. But that's what I want to do. I want to go home and see people for the two days that I usually see them and then I just want to be by myself. I just want to think. I want to figure out what the fuck I'm doing with my life, with myself.

I'm sitting here and not reading or studying or writing a paper, like I should be, I'm just thinking about how I never want to see the outside of my dorm again. I just want to stare at the pictures on my wall and have a notebook to write in and have that suffice as normal living. I don't want to go home for Christmas break. I want to move around. I want to be in a place where no one knows my name and where I don't give a fuck about anything but the sights around me. I wish I could live in a little room on the levi. I could go outside and see the water whenever I wanted and if someone needed me, they would know exactly where to find me. I want my world. I don't want the world, I want my world. I know I complain endlessly about people living in their own world and not the real world, but I wonder what it would be like. If I stopped calling, if I stopped caring, if I stopped thinking about anything but my happiness, or lack there of.

I want to stay in a place that I can call my own and not anyone else's. I don't want to study. I don't want to read about Caesar. I don't want to call. I don't want to worry. Period. I'm ready to give up. On pretty much everything.

Please come love
I think I'm falling
Holding on to all I think is safe
It seems I've found the road to no where
And I'm trying to escape
I yelled back when I heard thunder
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say...

Hold me now
I'm 6 feet from the edge
And I'm thinkin
Maybe 6 feet ain't so far down

I'm lookin down
Now that its over
Reflecting on all of my mistakes
I thought I found the road to somewhere
Somewhere in His grace
I cried out
Heaven save me
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say
Let me say..

Hold me now
I'm 6 feet from the edge
And I'm thinkin
Maybe 6 feet ain't so far down
I'm so far down

Sad eyes follow me
Well I still believe there's something there for me
So please come stay with me
Cause I still believe there's something left for you and me...
You and me...you and me

Hold me now
I'm 6 feet from the edge
And I'm thinkin
Hold me now
I'm 6 feet from the edge
And I'm thinkin
Maybe 6 feet ain't so far down...

Please come now
I think I'm falling
Holding on to all I think is safe...

xoxo DannDann