Life lessons I've learned:
1. You will never be prepared.
Life doesn't come with instructions or a helmet or a big band-aid. Life is a head on collision with anything and everything that you could possibly imagine and, most likely, full of things you've never even thought of. You never really think you're going to be heartbroken or that you're going to be fucked financially or that you'll let people down. You weren't prepared. You won't ever be. "No one said it would be this hard." Well then you talked to someone who has been lying to you. You won't be able to shield yourself from anything - but the good part is that you're going to learn a fuckload of lessons. You're going to learn that you can't run from your problems, because no matter how far you run, they will still be there. You might not be prepared for those problems, but you're going to have to deal with them.
2. There is always laundry to be done.
Physical and metaphorical. You're going to have to sort through everything, make sure it all gets turned right side out (one by one), make sure you have detergent, and figure out which cycle to put the machine on. And laundry isn't a task to be started with no intention of completion. You can't try to clean your clothes and then give up, because then you just have a big pile of wet clothes. You have to follow up with your laundry. You have to put it in the dryer, use fabric softener sheet, hang it up, and fold it. You can't forget about your laundry. You can't stop doing your laundry once you've started, because if you do, you have to start it all over again - making it that much harder for yourself and realizing that you should've just cleaned your clothes in the first place. Always do your laundry, don't let it pile up. And at all costs avoid dry cleaning unless absolutely necessary. Other people can't sort out your laundry, if you can't.
3. Bottles are for liquid.
Bottles are for liquid, not emotion. Don't hold your feelings in. You've heard that once or twice or a thousand times before, I know. But people will keep saying it until you do it. I don't give a single fuck if you're introverted or if you're not social or if you don't trust someone - do something with your feelings. Write it, sing it, speak it. Do something. The only thing you should bottle is Coke. Unless you are filled with Coke and you, yourself, are a metaphorical bottle, you have no excuse. Don't be afraid to let it out.
4. Fear nothing.
With the exception of roaches. I have yet to understand why people are so afraid of everything. "I don't want to trust someone." Why? "Because I don't want to get hurt." Why? "Because I don't want to get hurt." So what if you get hurt? So what? You get back up and you keep on going. You can't escape pain. You can't escape death. You can't escape some really shitty things in this world, so there's no use fearing them and running from them. Why run from something that can't and definitely won't run from you? Instead of exhausting yourself running from it, turn around, face it straight on and say "FUCK YOU. YOU WANNA GO? LET'S GO." Don't be afraid of things going badly, because they will. You can't beat the system, so stop being afraid of it. It is going to happen, whether you like it or not. So just let it happen and conquer it, overcome it, make it your bitch, and keep on trucking.
5. Get help.
If your car breaks down and you don't know how to fix it, what do you do? Well you aren't just going to sit in your home for weeks at a time waiting for it to magically start working again. You're going to bring it into Firestone and get it looked at. If you break and you don't know how to fix it, do something about it. Don't just sit there and accept that you're fucked up. Don't get me wrong. We will ALL be fucked up for our entire lives in some way shape or form. There WILL be some things that you just can't fix, no matter how hard you try. But, honestly, there are a lot more things that CAN be fixed in comparison to the things that CAN'T be. You just have to want to fix those things, you just have to try to fix those things. Go to a therapist. Go to a doctor. I absolutely cannot stand when people complain about how miserable and unhappy they are when they REFUSE to go to a therapist or a doctor or take their medicine. You have the means to get better, you just choose not to because you want to do it on your own... and sometimes you just fucking can't. As much as you hate having to depend on something else to help you stabilize your life... sometimes you just can't. Don't waste your life unhappily when you can do something about it. Don't be too stubborn and too prideful to get help, because, as much as you may want to say you did it on your own, you might not be able to. You start riding a bike on training wheels. You can't start riding a bike on your own. You can finish it on your own, but you sure as hell can't start it.
6. Meet as many people as you possibly can.
Every single person you meet will teach you something, whether it be about them, about yourself, about your reactions, about the weather forecast for the day, or about some crazy Asian tradition. You will learn so much throughout your life if you just let yourself learn. Open your ears. Open your eyes. Open your mind. People will teach you so fucking much, it is unbelievable. Shitty people will help you become weaker and then subsequently will help you figure out how to strengthen yourself up again. Great people will teach you how to laugh and how to love and how to enjoy your life. Of course, you will encounter the people who don't matter to you in the long run, but you will learn something from them - no matter how small - you will learn. Open up. You won't regret it. And if you're afraid of opening up... see #4.
7. Write.
I haven't written something meaningful in a really long time. I'm really glad I did. Writing has been my outlet for as long as I can remember. Before theatre. Before singing. Even if you completely disregard my advice about fearing nothing, writing is still perfect. When you write, you can't get hurt. When you write, no one will invade your canvas - unless you tell them to. When you write, it's just you and some paper or a keyboard and you don't have to abide by anyone's rules or regulations. When you write, you don't have to stop and think about anything because all you're doing is feeling. When you write, you let go, you say the things you're afraid to say out loud, you cry, you laugh, you smile, you just escape. When you write, you're true to yourself because you don't have to be true to anyone else. When I write, not only do I tell the world how I feel, but, more importantly, I tell myself. It's crazy what you realize when you write. I really couldn't even tell you anything I've typed so far... because I just let go. You should too.
Thanks for listening.
xoxo DannDann
100 Posts
15 years ago
